


Loop

by ColeTReed



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 04:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColeTReed/pseuds/ColeTReed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin isn’t sure why, but his best friend Michael has been acting odd lately, asking him out on a date out of the blue.  Plus, he doesn’t seem like his usual self anymore.  Where’s the life in Michael gone?  More importantly, why is he so insistent on controlling everything Gavin does?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loop

“GAVIN!” he hears Michael scream from halfway across the courtyard. 

Gavin looks up from his book, him sitting underneath a nearby tree in the park.  It had been a lovely day, so he’d decided to take himself outside. 

Gavin Free was in his early twenties, attending the great production college Burns University, in the heart of Austin, Texas.  It was a great place for people worldwide to learn about film, acting, drama, production and just really anything to have to do with media and the arts.  Gavin was a filmmaking student from England, his buddy Michael in the acting department from New Jersey. 

“Gavin….  You’re…  Here….” He says, out of breath, having run halfway across the courtyard.  Michael was a really talented actor, doing a lot of really great villainous roles.  He had curly red hair, hidden today under a beanie, with a pale complexion and a ton of freckles.  Though today…  He couldn’t help but notice Michael seemed a tad agitated.

“GAVIN!  LISTEN, NOW…  I …  I…  I want you to go out with me!” he screams taking Gavin by the hands.

 “Uh…  WHAT?!” he says, a little surprised.  Not only was he pretty sure that he’d only ever seen Michael date women before, Gavin wasn’t exactly…  Well…  I mean, guys were ok but he’d never really dated one before.

“This is fairly sudden, Michael, are you feeling ok?” he says, still a little flushed in the face.

Michael nods his head.  “Yes.  Please.  Today.  I want to have dinner with you tonight, outside of the college.  Uh…  How about Vincent’s?”

Gavin really is taken back from all of this, not sure how to respond.  “Um, sure Michael, I guess that’s fine.  Uh…  I’ll see you at eight?”

Michael shakes his head.  “No, we’re leaving at seven, ok?!” he says, in a fairly desperate tone of voice.

Pushy today, isn’t he?  Though he supposes that was just Michael. 

“Um, fine, I’ll see you at seven.  Meet you at your room?” Gavin says, looking at the man, finally composing himself a bit. 

Gavin nods his head.

________________

Several hours later, Gavin’s in his best clothing, a really nice blazer and fancy jeans.  He looked really nice, admiring himself in the mirror, him actually taming that wild wheat hair of his.  Gavin was fairly skinny, really tall and tanned, a polar opposite to Michael, they’d make quite the couple tonight.  Gavin hears a knock on his door, and he glances at his watch.  Hmm…?  It was barely six thirty, and he was supposed to go meet Michael, so surely it wasn’t him.  Who was knocking on his dorm room?

Opening the door, he sees a fairly tanned man step in front of him.  He looked slightly Hispanic, though he couldn’t quite place the proper nationality.  He was tall, skinny and had on a pair of really goofy glasses, wearing some graphic T-shirt. 

“Hey, my name is Ray, I just transferred here, and I’m just a tad lost.  I live next door, but can you tell me where I can find the person in charge of the rooms here?” he says, smiling a goofy smile.  Gavin couldn’t help but think he was a little…  Well, cute. 

“Oh, you’ll want Mr. Haymen, he’s on the fourth floor, room 410.” Gavin says smiling.

Ray thanks him, and heads off to the stairs.  Gavin watches him, not being able to really take his eyes off him.  “Nice butt.”

_________

After a short walk off-campus, Gavin and Michael were at a nice table inside Vincent’s one of the nicer Italian restaurants in the area, having just given their order to the waitress.  It was designed in a really tacky manner, breaking every Italian cliché in the book, but still romantic.  Gavin had actually done a few shoots here, in some romantic shorts his film glass did.

Though Gavin is more interested in Michael tonight, he seemed distant, agitated and really stressed out.  He hadn’t even said a word to Gavin.  Was he nervous?  More importantly, he seemed somewhat deflated.

“So Michael, why did you want to start dating me all of a sudden?  I’m flattered, but…  Well, I never got the impression you were..  Well..  You know…” Gavin says nervously.

Michael seems bored.  He’s not even really paying attention to Gavin, just staring at his menu passively.

“Michael?” Gavin says.

Michael’s eyes are staring at Gavin’s now.  “Oh, sorry.  My mind was elsewhere.  So, uh, what’d you do today?” he says, giving more attention to Gavin.

He still can’t help but feel like something’s wrong.

“Oh, well I started that book out in the grounds, came home and finished my editing for the short film I was working on.  Oh, and I got a new neighbor.  I think his name was Ray…” Gavin finishes, taking a long drink of his water. 

“WHAT.” Michael screams, looking directly at Gavin now, him looking really angry.

Gavin’s not quite sure what to take from that.  “Uh, do you know him?”

Michael nods.  “You stay away from him, got it?”

Gavin feels a tad nervous about the situation.  What had gotten into Michael? 

“I’m serious Gavin, don’t go near him, you hear me?  Ever.” Michael says giving him a dark look.

“Uh…  Why?” he asks, a very valid question. 

Michael is fuming, Gavin can tell.  “Just…  Just, ok?  Swear that to me.”

Gavin can tell Michael is genuinely concerned.

“Ok Michael, I promise.” Gavin says softly.  He didn’t get it, but he’d ask him about it later.  This was weird, he’d never taken Michael as the jealous type.

___________

Gavin had been dating Michael for about a month now, and wasn’t sure how to take the whole situation.  On the one hand, dating his best friend was amazing, since there’s so much openness between the two, and they shared a lot of interests together.  They really were perfect for each other, and Michael seemed to know everything about Gavin.   On the other hand?  Well…  Michael was a little dominating in the relationship, and was more than a little cold.  He decided where they went every night, insisting on specific times and places.  He’d insist on taking Gavin home to his dorm, not leaving his side until the door was locked. 

It was…  Cute?  Although a little overprotective and creepy too.  He’d asked Michael to chill out a bit, and Michael had agreed to tone it down thankfully. 

Gavin was sitting outside today, letting his body get warmed by the Austin sun.  He loved sitting outside and doing homework, though today he was just letting himself de-stress.  Classes were getting harder, and the hours he worked getting longer. 

“Sunning are we?” he hears a familiar voice say.  Opening his eyes, he spots that it’s his neighbor, Ray.  The one Michael was insistent he stay away from.

Gavin nods, deciding that there’s no harm in being polite.  “Yeah, it relaxes me.”

Ray plops down next to him.  “Me too, I could just lay out in it all day.  Well, I would if I didn’t burn like a goddamn fried chicken.”

The two laugh at the comment. 

“GAVIN.” He hears Michael say loudly, but sternly. 

Sitting up, he sees his boyfriend come to him, picking him up from the ground.  “I hope you don’t mind, but we really need to be going.” He says, giving Ray a semi-pleasant face, but still speaking in a harsh tone of voice. 

“Nah, no problem, have fun!” Ray says, smiling and waving as Gavin is dragged off.

A little ways outside of campus, Gavin breaks Michael’s hold on him.  “WHAT was that about?  Have you gone bloody mental?!”

Michael stares at him in the eyes.  “I just..  Don’t want you around Ray, ok?”

Gavin has had enough.  “Ok, listen; give me one good reason why?  You’re just a tad mental about this, and I thought we’d gone over all this…”

Michael sighs.  “Listen..  We’ve known each other for years, right?  I mean, we met freshman year of college.  We’re juniors, but I feel like I’ve known you for longer than that, you’re…  You’re a big part of my life…  I just…  I want…  Please, just trust me, ok?”

Gavin clearly sees that something is wrong with Michael, and that this subject was really upsetting him.  But why?  Still, this was something they’d have to work on.

_______________

Summer break was going to be unusual for Gavin, that was certain. 

Usually, he’d go back home to England, but he didn’t quite have the time to make the trip.  With his senior project looming overhead, he had to start working on it with his group, and they’d all decided to spend their summer getting a head start.  Not a problem, except the dorms were closed, so he’d..  Well, he moved in with Michael.  Unlike Gavin, Michael had his own apartment and was more than eager for Gavin to stay with him.  The two of them were together on the couch, Michael holding Gavin tightly.

That was one thing about their relationship that Gavin liked.  Michael was very clingy and he couldn’t help but like snuggling with him.  It was like he derived his entire existence from being close to Gavin. 

“Michael, can we just stay in today?  I don’t really want to go out when we’re so…  Comfy…” Gavin says, laying into his chest, speaking a little seductively. 

Michael nodded.  “Yeah.” He commented in a slow and monotone voice, missing his flirt completely.  Gavin gives him a slightly irritated look.

Gavin wanted to try something.  He gently climbed up Michael a bit, and tenderly kissed him on the neck.  Soft and quick, but hopefully getting the message across as also began palming his hand in Michael’s lap.  They’d been together a while now, and he wanted to go a little further.  

Michael didn’t budge, not even remotely moved by it.  Gavin let out a small little groan, closing his eyes.  Despite the cuddles, Michael never wanted…  Well, he didn’t want to go much further than that.  Not that Gavin minded, he was patient and would never try anything Michael wasn’t comfortable with, but…  Well, it was odd that Michael never kissed him or tried anything.  In the last relationships he’d had, Michael had quite a number of interesting stories to tell, so it wasn’t like he was afraid of the idea.

“Michael…  Do you not want to…  You know…” Gavin says, playfully touching his boyfriend’s face.

Michael looks down a bit, not really changing his bored expression, still looking blankly at him.  “You…  You can do what you want Gavin…”

Gavin sees the man look a bit pained.  “Michael?”

Michael takes Gavin, flipping him around and kissing him on the lips, Gavin finally making out with his boyfriend for the first time.  Though…  Something’s off.  Michael’s not into it, it feels almost forced.  Though as he feels Michael’s hands reach into his shirt, he loses pretty much any interest in that line of thought.

___________

Summer came and went without much interesting happening.  His group was months ahead in their project, and he could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel that was his college life.  After his and Michael’s little adventure together, he’d decided to stay moved in permanently, not re-registering for his dorm.

Michael was pleased at the idea, and welcomed him whole heartedly.  Although at the same time, Gavin was torn by it, noticing that Michael really wasn’t that into make out sessions or much else besides the playful cuddle or two, so he hadn’t pressed the…  Well, he didn’t press going further than that.  Sex was clearly out of the question.  Gavin loved Michael by this point, and wanted them both to be happy.

Relationship crisis aside, Gavin was more concerned with getting the correct classes.  It was the day for registration, and Gavin had headed in a little bit early for film class registration.  His was in the morning, while Michael’s acting classes were later that afternoon.  So it was with surprise that Gavin saw Ray in the main campus hall. 

“Hey, Gavin, wasn’t it?” he hears him call out, shaking his hand. 

“Ray, right?” he says, clearly knowing the man by this point considering his boyfriend’s deep hatred for whatever reason.

“Yeah, man, you’ve got a good memory!” he replies, walking alongside Gavin towards registration, the two making small talk until..

“So, um..  Are you still with that other guy, Michael?” Ray asks, a little embarrassed.

Gavin nods.  “Yeah, we’ve been dating for almost half a year now.” He says proudly.

Ray looks a tad saddened and lets out a disappointed sigh.  “Gah…  The good ones are always taken, straight or married.”

Gavin laughs a bit.  “Well, there are always more fish in the sea.”

He feels Ray touch him on the shoulder.  “Yeah, but I’ve had my eye on this really regal British goldfish for a while now.  Oh well, listen…”  Ray pulls out a small card and hands it to Gavin.  “If things don’t work out, there’s my number.  Door is always open!”  he says, winking and trotting off in the opposite direction of Gavin, still smiling and waving goodbye.

Gavin palmed the card and gently crushed it, throwing it in a nearby trash can once Ray was out of sight.  As much as he hated it, he’d have to tell Michael. 

_

“I saw Ray today, and he gave me a card with his number.  He apparently wants to bone me.” Gavin says at dinner, the two of them enjoying the fine take-out styling of Wu Chinese, hoping to avoid food poisoning this week.  They were in Michael’s apartment, sitting at the really shitty IKEA table Gavin had bought, curing Michael’s lack of furnishings. 

Michael looks up at him, a shocked expression on his face.

Gavin waves his hand a little.  “Threw it away, don’t worry, I know how ridiculous you are about that man. “

Michael breathes a short sigh of relief.  “What did he say?”

Gavin shrugs.  “Ah, not much, something about how he wanted to date me if it didn’t work out between us.”

Michael bangs his head on the desk hard.  “Every.  Fucking.  Time.”  He sounded exasperated, tired almost.

Gavin looks at him curiously.  “Michael?  What are you talking about?”

Gavin watches as his boyfriend gently lifts his head up, runs to Gavin’s side and pulls him up and away from the table in a big hug.  “Please…  Please just…  Please just don’t do anything he asks you, ok? I beg you…”

Gavin can see that Michael is in the midst of a panic attack, and he gently pats him on the shoulders, kissing him on the cheek.  “I promise Michael.”

As much as Gavin wanted to bring up the topic again, he could tell that now wasn’t the time.  Everything was just so confusing right now. 

__________

“Gavin, do you know what’s wrong with Michael?” says a very worried Lindsay Tuggey.  She and Gavin had met for lunch, her wanting to talk to him about her ex-boyfriend. 

Gavin had felt more than a little guilty about the whole thing.  Michael had been dating Lindsay for a while, breaking it off to go out with Gavin.  A shame, because the two of them had been really close, but were good friends now after the initial heartbreak.

Lindsay was a beautiful girl, with soft features, long and pretty brown hair, and just a really kind face.  She meant business though, so it would be wise not to fuck with her.

Gavin shakes his head.  “I’m not really sure.  Here we are, in the midst of our last year together, and he just…  Well, he doesn’t do anything.  He wants us just to sit at home all the time, locked up.  Getting him to take me out to dinner is like pulling teeth.”

Lindsay lets out a big sigh.  “I’m worried too.  We’re in the same department together, and while his grades are perfect, he’s just not into it.  Before you two started dating, he was just so full of life!  He wasn’t as good in the grades, but at least his work was really good.  He had life in his work, and was really colorful.  Nowadays he just…  He’s like a corpse…”

Gavin sees that Lindsay is really upset.  “I’m sorry, I just…  I don’t know.”

___________

“Gavin, we’re going out of town, ok?” he hears Michael say. 

“Huh?” Gavin replies, dropping his bag on the floor.  He’d just gotten back from classes, having only stepped one foot in Michael’s apartment. 

“I don’t have time to explain, I just…  I need us to go somewhere that’s not here.  Trust me.” Michael says, dropping an empty suitcase in front of Gavin. 

“But…  I have classes tonight, and I know you do too!” Gavin protests, watching as Michael pushes him into their shared bedroom. 

“Don’t care, this is happening.” He replies. 

Gavin spreads his arms out, blocking further progress by barricading the door.  “Michael, this is really mental, and I’m not going ANYWHERE with you until you explain what’s going on.”

Michael stops pushing and seems to think for a moment.  After a couple of awkward seconds, he pulls Gavin close to him, kissing him on the mouth.  There’s some passion in this kiss, but he can still tell that Michael isn’t into it.  It’s awkward.

“I want you Gavin…  I want you…  tonight.  Please…  And I… I want it to be special…” he says, although the words are empty sounding, almost rehearsed and fake..

Gavin pushes him back.     “That’s a lie.”

Michael pulls him back into him.  “Please?” he says in a sad tone, almost desperate sounding. 

___________

A few hours later, the two were finally out of town.  They were in a sleazy motel, them not really being able to afford much.

“Very romantic.” Gavin says sarcastically, lying next to Michael on the cheap mattress and cardboard pillows.

Michael sighed.  “Gavin..  Can I tell you a story?”

Gavin looks at Michael, and sees that he’s serious.  “Sure Michael, what?”

Michael lets go of Gavin, swinging his legs off the bed, putting his head between his knees.  “I knew this kid once, we met in college, and we were best friends.  We did everything together, and he was a twerp.”

Gavin sits up, cross legged on the bed. 

“One day, we were walking around campus; I’d picked him up while he’d been reading a book and we were going to go get lunch and talk about my new girlfriend.  I was such an idiot, I walked right into traffic mid-conversation, and not noticing the lights had changed.  The moron pushed me out of the way of an on-coming truck, getting himself hit in the process.  He died in my arms, laying there bleeding out, telling me how much he was glad to have known me, and hoping I was ok.”

Gavin’s not sure what to say.  He’d known Michael since he’d been in college, and was pretty sure he’d know if something like that happened.

“It was my fault, all my fault.  No questions asked.  I swore I would make things right at any cost.  So I…  I made a deal with someone.”

Michael pulled off his shirt, there a solid black tattoo of an infinite loop symbol on his back, and it was HUGE, taking up both shoulders.   “Never really knew his name, he just showed up one day.   Told me that he’d let me go back in time.  All I had to was give him something important every time I traveled.” 

Gavin looks up.  What was he saying?  Time travel?

“I went back and saved the kid, making sure he didn’t go anywhere near traffic on that fateful day.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t…  That wasn’t the only time he got hurt. “ Michael said, himself  letting out a big sigh.

“He met some guy named Ray.  He and Ray dated, and they were a great couple.  Well, they were until Ray broke up with him.  He went home for the summer and met some girl named Courtney, who he’d known all his life.  They apparently hit it off, and Ray broke it off with him, not wanting to be unfair to Gavin.  It was really respectful the way he did it, and it was mutual in the end.  Hell, he even went out on nights with the two sometimes.  Still, he was heartbroken, and he never really smiled again after that.  It really messed him up, he didn’t take rejection well and swore he’d never fall in love again..  I…  I went back to make sure he didn’t get with that scumbag.”

Things began connecting in Gavin’s brain. 

“Well, after I saved him and kept his heart from breaking in two, there was the disaster of a summer he had before his senior year.  He ended up staying with one of his partners for his senior project.  When he didn’t sleep with her, she refused to do any work on it, and they fell way behind.  The whole thing was a disaster; he had to repeat a year because of it.  Well, he would have, if he had any money for another semester.  He ended up getting some job back home outside of the country, never really being happy.  So I went back again, making sure he had a place to stay and keeping the awkward situation from happening.”

Gavin remembers the crush that Jessica had on him, though she didn’t do much with it, since Gavin was already in a relationship.

“The boy didn’t find peace then either, another trip later I learned about the shooting, some idiot coming during the middle of the semester toting a gun, trying to get on the five o’clock news.  The guy didn’t get shot, but he watched as one of his best friends got gunned down in front of him.  He started suffering from some form of PTSD and couldn’t ever go back to school after that, or he’d have constant panic attacks.”

Gavin takes in the evening’s events in a different light. 

“I supposed…  I supposed that I might as well be in a relationship with the guy.  It made sense.  The little punk..  He…  He always managed to get into trouble.  He…  He gave his life for me, it’s the least I can do to make sure he never has to be sad or hurt again.  He was my friend, and I cared about him.  I just didn’t…  I guess I didn’t figure the price would be so steep…” Michael says.

Gavin touches him on the shoulder, noticing that Michael doesn’t respond. 

“Gavin, each time that I go back into the past, I have to give up a chunk of my heart.  That was the price I paid.  At first it wasn’t much, I just sort of lost interest in things I used to like.  The next time, I couldn’t really relate to people anymore, and stuff like being happy went away.  Another trip later, and I just…  I don’t even feel when people touch me anymore; it doesn’t mean anything to me.  Intimacy is gone, and I just don’t even register love anymore.” He says.

Gavin realizes that it’s true, Michael not even feeling the contact he’d been giving him, and the awkward kissing now making sense.

“Gavin, I can’t go back again.  If I do, I don’t think I’ll be human anymore.  What little happiness I’ve managed to keep is knowing that you’re safe and my debt has been repaid.  Don’t..  Don’t be sad anymore, please.  Just..  Just let me protect you.” He finishes, looking at Gavin in the eyes now.

Gavin sees it now.  His eyes…  They’re dead.  There’s no life in them, just the concern that Michael had for him.

“I knew it wasn’t fair for you to not know anymore.  I know all this sounds crazy, but I hope you can believe me.  If not, then…  Then I guess one more timeline wouldn’t hurt too much.  Maybe.” Michael says.

Gavin touches his tattoo, noticing how intricate it was.  It was an infinity loop to be sure, though the loop itself was designed by a combination of hundreds of other loops.

“How many times?” Gavin asks, hoping Michael would understand.

“I quit counting at 23.” He says. 

Gavin takes it all in.  Twenty three trips, each trip lasting the better part of two or three years. How long…  How long had Michael suffered?

“This isn’t a joke?” Gavin asks, hoping it some elaborate attempt at foreplay. 

Michael shakes his head.  “No.”

Gavin doesn’t know what to do or how to take this knowledge.  Michael had been there for him, not letting him fall.  How could he ever repay him?

Then it comes to him, looking down and seeing a familiar symbol on his wrist that hadn’t been there before. 

“Michael?” Gavin says softly, hugging him.

“Yes Gavin?” he replies.

“Thank you, but…  You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

____________

“Gavin, I’m telling you, she’s fabulous, and the best girl I’ve ever met in my life!” Michael exclaims to his friend, the two of them grabbing coffee before heading out to a shoot. 

Gavin smiled.  “That’s wonderful.  So you two have been going out for a while?  Thought about going to the next base yet?”

Michael blushes.  “GAVIN!  What kind of man do you think I am!?” he says playfully. 

Gavin laughed.  “By the way, you want to join me and Ray tonight?  He’s bringing his girlfriend and we’re heading out for pizza and bad movies.”

Michael nodded.  “Sure man, sounds like fun.”

Taking a long swig of his overly priced beverage, Michael slams it down.  “So when are YOU going to find yourself a lover?  I’d have thought you were sick of being a fifth wheel by this point, but I guess when dealing with your hairy mess down there, you scare them off a bit .”

Gavin chucked.  “One will come along, I’m sure.  No sense rushing things, and quit staring down there you pervert.”

Michael shrugged.  “Whatever you say, man.  Oh, and seriously invest in a fucking weed whacker.  I swear if I have to see that jungle one more time in the dorm showers I’m going to go blind.”

Gavin fusses with his hair a bit, chuckling at the joke.  Michael noticing him being oddly smiley today.  It was then that he saw it.

“DUDE!  When did you get THAT!?” Michael shouted, pointing at Gavin’s wrist.  It was a sweet tat, which was odd considering Gavin didn’t do well around needles, him almost passing out watching Michael get one of his.

Gavin chuckled, covering it up a bit.  “Well, that’s a long story.”

Beneath Gavin’s covered hand was a really tiny infinite loop symbol, barely the size of a penny.   


End file.
